I was writing this in my journal and I felt very inspired to post it on my blog.

For the first time in a long time, I have become so overcome by the Spirit of the Holy Ghost and Heavenly Father that I was crying and trembling all over.

I was so upset before as I was thinking about quitting my job because I feel like I am taken for granted, and I am so stressed out from school.

I started to listen to Come Thou Fount by the BYU Choruses. I had flashbacks of of memories from my days at BYU-Idaho. I remember the feeling of the Spirit as I sat in the Auditorium for a Fireside or a Devotional. I started to cry as the feeling become more intense. I started to feel the sweet feeling of the Holy Ghost. I started to feel the Love of God.

I have been turned away from God for so long, that I had forgotten those feelings and experiences that I had experienced at BYU-Idaho.

I remember going to a spot overlooking the campus on Sundays where I would sing hymns and talk to Heavenly Father. I would feel his love and the Spirit so strongly then.

I realized that what is affecting me so much in life right now does not matter in the matter of Eternity. I realized that I need to prepare for Sundays and go back to Church. I realized that I need to get close to God again so that I can feel his love more often.

Most of all, I need to repent and stop doing things that only take me further from God.

I know that some friends of mine may not understand this, but I ask for them to respect my faith and feelings.

It wouldn’t be right if I didn’t post about this.

Be sure to donate:

Recently, I got a second screen from Office Depot for a good price. I came home and hooked it up using the VGA cord as my computer only has 1 DVI and 1 VGA slot. The first screen uses the DVI since it is 23″, and the new 20″ got the VGA cord. However, even though I used the recommended resolution for the screen and I had installed the drivers for that screen, I still have a rather crappy resolution. In the end, I ended up getting a new Graphics Card that allows me to use an HDMI and a DVI. I will use the HDMI on my 23″ and the DVI on the 20″. I also had to order a new Power Supply as the current one is not good enough.

I have never built a computer, so this will be a good experience. Maybe after this, I will install a new network card on my laptop as the current one keeps going out. Speaking of network cards, the one of my BLU-ray DVD player sucks like crazy. The wireless sucked, so I am using Ethernet over Power. The connection is great most of the time, but a lot of the time, the connection lags like crazy. I end up having to restart the DVD player a lot, then having to reset the network on it. That is the bad thing about DVD players, I can’t just use commandline or any of the tools that Windows offers to troubleshoot it. It is also harder to replace the network cards, as DVD players are not easily taken apart like Computers.

Another upgrade in my life might be my job. I might be going out for another department soon. I need to get working on my confidence though, since that tends to wear me down a lot. I don’t even care that much for the higher pay, it’s honestly the experience that I want. I am pretty bored of my current job. The other night as I prayed about it, I had a strong feeling that I should go for this other job. Now I just have to wait for a job in that department to become available.

I have this problem of focusing so much on what I cannot do, that I forget to remember what I can do. I can do a lot, especially when I put my mind to it. I’ve been through a lot of crap in my life, which has affected my self-esteem on many levels. However, I have come a long way in life. I have forgiven several people that affected me when I was a child, and I have forgiven people that hurt me a lot in the past few years. Right now, I’m taking a break from relationships as it just isn’t the right time and place for that.

School and work have me really busy at the moment, that sometimes I feel like I have forgotten my dreams and passions that I used to have. For now, like Mr. Darling had to do in Peter Pan, I set my dreams aside and I admire them when I can. For now, they just aren’t important enough.

A friend of mine was selling her Coby Kyros MID7120 Android OS tablet for a good price a few weeks ago, so I took her up on the offer. We waited to see if she was coming up here or not, but that didn’t go through. I paid her for the tablet through the Chase QuickPay, then she mailed it to me.

I got it today!

I quickly figured out that Android Market didn’t work on it. I was pretty dismayed at that as the application AppsLib honestly doesn’t have many apps to pick from. It was proving hard to find the right downloads on websites for applications that I wanted, like CourseSmart. However, I knew that I could make it happen as I can make anything work. I read in a forum that you could use make a backup of your favorite applications on your smartphone using the ASTRO app, then transfer those to the Tablet. I did this and it worked wonderfully.





Anyway, it is very exciting. I mainly got it for reading my coursebooks as reading them on my smartphone isn’t that cool. My Smartphone is a Droid X2 with Android OS. It’s only 4″ long. The tablet is 7″

I’m also going to get another monitor for my computer since I have so much to do and not enough monitor space to do it. I’m going to be developing a mobile application, which I am currently teaching myself how to do. I am also teaching myself Perl, AJAX, Javascript, and PHP… when I have time.

I also have a test on Saturday, ugh.

I saw the movie The Vow with my friend Megan today. I liked it. It wasn’t oscar-worthy, but it was enjoyable. It has Channing Tatum and Rachel McAdams. Rachel is the cute girl from Morning Glory, which I love a lot.

It snowed about 4 inches on Sunday, but it was so wet that most of it was gone by noon on Monday. It was really pretty when it was falling though. The snowflakes were the size of silver dollars.







This is from a few weeks ago, but it’s really pretty:

I have noticed lately that people’s opinions of me really affect me. On top of that, one negative opinion hits me so hard that it takes me 10 positive opinions to make up for it.

Evidently, somebody in an upper level team at my company has been talking bad about me, saying that I don’t know what I am doing. Why does that hurt me so much? Because until the other day, I was seriously contemplating applying for that upper level team the next time there was an opening. Not for the pay, but for the experience and because I’m getting bored of still taking Tier I calls after being in Tier2 for 7 months now. I’m ready for a change and I want a new challenge. This is the same feeling that I had before I went into Tier1 from Customer Service, and the same feeling that I had before I went from Tier1 to Tier2. Now that opportunity of rising to another level is slim to none because of what they think of me.

HOWEVER, what they say about me is FALSE in so many ways. I know more than 85% of the other Tier 2 representatives here. I am the GOTO person for most representatives, even some other Tier 2 reps. I give my job my all plus 10%. Most customers love me because I am able to help them with so much. Yes, there are a few areas that I am not top notch on. But for someone to say that I don’t know what I’m doing is a lie. If I knew exactly who said that, I would slap them and make them look through every case I have worked on in the past 6 months.

Anyway, I heard about this on Monday evening. I went into a big of a nervous breakdown and I felt really discouraged about life. Don’t you ever have those days? Where you feel like you are just not good enough? That you constantly fail?

I start losing weight and I do good for a few months. I lose about 30 pounds or so, then something happens and I lose myself.

I went into Math Education as my first major and I had student teaching in Winter 2008. The teachers tore me down in every possible way. I feel like I failed in that part of my life.

This is my second attempt at a career and for several months I have felt like I have done really well. In the end, I may not be the best and I should not be expected to know EVERYTHING. I am a fast learner. Can you believe that 4 years ago, I did not know what Linux was? Can you believe that 3 years ago, I did not know what apache was? And now I work with Linux and Apache all of the time. I have come a long way, and in some ways I am still a beginner. I have the passion that is needed to really excel in the IT world, and I know that I can go far. I shouldn’t let what one person’s opinion let me down.

Did you know that I was placed in a Special Education class when I was in the 4th grade? Before then, I had gone through life rather aimlessly. Being put in the Special Ed class really woke me up. I got 100% on every assignment that I was given. The school started to put me back into regular classes for Math and English. By the end of the year, it was agreed that I didn’t need to be in the special education class anymore. I was put in normal paced classes in fifth grade.

In the 8th grade, I was kind of mediocre and getting Cs and Bs in grades. I can’t remember exactly what happened but something snapped in me and I realized that I was really smart. I started to get A’s in all classes. In History, I would study for the tests by going into the family van and closing the door and reciting the notes.

In the 9th grade, I was ranked #8 in my class of about 300 students. I graduated from high school ranked #13 with a 3.92 GPA.

I graduated from BYU-Idaho with a 3.87 GPA.

Once I change my perspective, I see that I have come very far and I can’t just give up.

As for the weight, I am awakening to the fact that I need to lose weight. I went to the gym the other week for the first time in over a year. I am watching what I eat. I am cutting back on the sweets.

A lot of people let go in their lives and don’t monitor what they intake, mentally and physically. I am sure that I am not the only person that struggles with the constant fight in life.

In the end, my faith in the Lord is what keeps me going. I know that there is greater meaning to my suffering.

Alma 26:7 says “Now when our hearts were depressed, and we were about to turn back, behold, the Lord comforted us, and said: Go amongst thy brethren, the Lamanites, and bear with patience thine afflictions, and I will give unto you success.”

May the Force Be With You!

It’s been busy!

On Thursday, I went shopping at Walmart since I now knew what to get Braxton and Nori. That night, I had dinner with my friends Paige and Jessica at Texas Steakhouse. We also ran into our old friend Jared Pruett with his new wife. He looked so different that I hardly recognized him.

On Friday, I took Nori and Braxton to see Santa at the mall. They got a picture taken with Santa Clause:

While the picture was developing, I took them to Sears and let them pick out one item of clothing. Nori picked out a silver dress and Braxton picked out a Spiderman shirt. We then picked up the pictures, then went to the movie theatre. We got tickets for Arthur Christmas, and of course we got popcorn. The movie was really cute and I actually liked it. The kids did too. To top off the day, I got them kids meals at McDonald’s for dinner. Those kids sure are mighty lucky.

That night, I helped them make presents for their parents with the pictures. We decorated frames.

On Saturday, Christmas Eve, my neice and I made a decorated sugar cookies. The only cookie cutter we had was a snowman. We made quite a few of them. I had to make a store run to get more eggs and butter. After we made the cookies, I made Mississippi Mudpie. The next day, Christmas Day, we went to Church. I performed ‘Do You Hear What I Hear’ with my sister and dad. My sister came in the very last minute possible, the minute before I started. It turned out pretty well. Unfortunately, I had nobody to film it!

I got to see my friend Celena at church. I’ve missed her so much! Eddie Sechrist’s family performed a lullaby. One of their 4-year-old twin girls took away the song by singing all loud. It was cute. She knew all of the words!

After Church, we got the turkey ready and cooked it. My grandparents from my mom’s side came over. Unfortunately, they had misheard what time church was and missed my singing. I gave Grandpa the tie that I got him, and I gave grandma the socks that I got her.

After they left, my friend Ahsia came over. I was so excited to see him again. I hadn’t seen him since we had graduated. After he left, I had a migraine so I laid down for a couple of hours. I woke up about 5pm, time for dinner. I found that nobody had even started the Mashed Potatoes, so I started to peel them. My sister Missy cut them in sevenths. We then boiled them, and I mashed them with a hand blender. I added Milk, Butter, Salt, and Pepper.

The missionaries joined us. One was from Arizona. We talked about a lot of North hasn’t gotten any snow, like Provo. No white Christmas for Provo. Only the mountains had snow. I gave the missionaries truffles as a Christmas Present.

After the missionaries left, my sister Heather surprised us all. She made a last minute “Santa Run” to Walgreens and got her kids presents. My cousins Jeremy and Jason also came up from North Carolina. Here is a picture of them with my grandma (dad’s side): After dinner, all of the grandkids opened their presents. It was a mess! What Nori Got From Me:
2 Dresses – One Plum color and One Silver color
2 Shirts
1 Pajama Pants
Friendship Bracelet Kit
Bracelet Kit
Bead-Art Kit
Coloring Kit
Bratz Doll – Cloe the Cowgirl

What Braxton Got From Me:
Dress Top with Tie
3 Shirts
1 Pair of Jeans
1 Pair of Dress Pants
2 Belts
Joy Ride – XBox 360 Kinect Game

What Skylar Got From Me:
1 Button-Up Shirt
1 Sweater
Wooden Train Set
Mad-Art Book

Christopher just got a Memory game from me, since he was getting plenty of other toys.

I had already given my neices Ella and Chloe their presents back in Utah. I gave Ella a pajama set, a Scooby Doo shirt, a couple of other shirts, a Justin Bieber toothbrush (it plays two of his songs!), and a Scooby Doo doll (her favorite). I got Chloe a new dress with pink tights, and a Light Brite art toy. I think she was more excited about the dress.

I gave my brother-in-law Chris his present in a gag box. The gag box made it look like I got him a Blankeez – a large blanket that covers the whole family with holes for the heads. It was really two books – Goodnight iPad and a book of logical puzzles. I gave my sister something that she really needed – PediEgg Blade Replacements.

I got some money, some jewelry, and Glee Stickers. I enjoy giving gifts more than receiving, to be honest. I like to make Christmas special for others, that is what makes Christmas special for me. I spend a lot of time thinking of what to get each person. I sometimes feel under-appreciated, but I just don’t dwell on those feelings for long and I’m fine.

Happy Holidays to you!

After a lot of traveling and waiting and delays, I am finally in Virginia.

Here is run down on the travel here:

Tuesday
1. 9:30am – Friend Rocky drove me to the airport. I got there with good timing
2. 11:30am – Plane left gate, then had to have maintenance done on door. After taxi’ing for about 30 minutes, we had to return to the gate to have a mechanic look at the door and sign some papers.
3. 12:30pm – Finally left airport.
On the plane, I sat beside this guy named Joby. He is a 26-year-old archaeologist. He works in Nevada and he was returning to Alabama for Christmas. We had a good time together to Atlanta. We played the trivia and helped each other on the answers. I explained to him that I am going into IT. The trivia asked who pretty much invented HTML. I knew it was Berners-Lee . It also asked what URL meant – Uniform Resource Locator. So, Utah has been having what is called an inversion for the past week and we are stuck in it. It means all of the air is trapped by the mountains. It means BAD air quality. We have been having THICK fog and cold temperatures for the past few days. Here are the pictures of the fog from above. It’s really cool because the mountains stick out like islands.
I hate to think of how I won’t see Joby again, unless by some odd twist of fate. I kept thinking that if the plane started to go down, maybe I would grab his hand. Then we could comfort each other during the time that we know we’re about to die.

I also looked at the people around us and thought of their lives and where they were going. What influences they had. It’s sometimes hard to grasp the idea of so many people in the world with their own lives, their own family, their own hardships, and their own wants/needs.

So, we finally got to Atlanta at about 6:30pm (we were supposed to get there at 5:30pm). I got off the plane before Joby; and I had hoped to say a final goodbye to him, but I didn’t see him again. I guess he walked off while I was looking at the monitors.

I then walked to from the end of Terminal T to the escalator in the middle, down to the shuttle, then to Terminal B. I got a message on my phone from Delta that the plane was delayed 15 minutes, so I had time to get something to eat. I got nasty Chinese food – not doing that again. I wish I had had more time to get something real to eat.

I then went to my terminal, where I was eventually informed that we were delayed another hour. I then had more time to walk around. I went to Ben & Jerry’s and got the most amazing sundae ever – Triple Chunk Caramel with Hot Caramel. It was yummy and just what I wanted.

Finally, around 8:30pm, we left the airport and got to Greensboro, NC, at 9:45pm. I was surprised by my niece Nori (7) and nephew Braxton (5) with my mom. The baggage took some time to come through. I’ve been having to learn how to take care of kids again!

There is more drama going on here than I thought, but I’m going to form my own opinions about things and not let it get the best of me.

Wednesday
I played with my dog Jake this morning. He still remembers me, even though it’s been a year. I’ve really missed him. He’s as cute as ever, but his eyes look like they are going bad. Poor boy – he’s 11. He’ll be 12 in March.

Right now, I’m having to hide my phone and my computer when I’m not using them. The kids want them, of course. Not sure what I’m doing for the rest of the day, but I have plans for tomorrow. I should probably brush my dogs hair since it looks like he hasn’t had that done in a while.

My dog is barking right now. I’ve really missed his bark. I never trained him to not bark because I wanted him to be a dog. My parents put some new flooring in the kitchen, and he can barely walk on it. He keeps slipping and sliding.

I plan to bake over the next few days leading up to the Christmas – Fudge, Cookies, Pies, etc.

Let the holidays begin!

Yes, I think I’m going to use this blog to rant about two things that I really love right now:
1. Hunger Games
2. Glee


Hunger Games
Hunger Games is amazing series. I think I love it more than Harry Potter. The official trailer came out on Monday morning, and I LOVE IT!


Go to this link and click on “Watch Trailer” to watch the OFFICIAL TRAILER!

Glee
I have been in love with Glee since about February of this year. I started to watch the episodes on Netflix, then I caught up on Season 2 through some questionable places. After that, I watched the newer episodes on Fox.com/glee. I even put up with the lame advertisements. They are now in Season 3.


I absolutely love the Klaine (Kurt and Blaine) and Finchel (Finn and Rachel) couples! They are so cute. They both went “all of the way” on last week’s episode ‘First Time’. I’m pretty sure that caused a bit of an uproar from parents, bible-thumpers, etc.


Tonight’s episode was so LOL! Brittany promised to ban Tornadoes from Ohio and to go topless every Tuesday in her campaign speech for Senior Class president. I will have to write an article dedicated to Brittany. The things that she says are so blonde and funny.


Elsewheres
Breaking Dawn part 1 comes out on Thursday! I have to admit that I’m not as excited as I used to be when I first got into the Twilight series. I was very excited about Twilight when it first came to the theatres that I went to the midnight showing. Then I went to the midnight showing of New Moon. I went to midnight showing of Eclipse, but I wasn’t as crazy about it. This year, I’m not even going to see Breaking Dawn until the Tuesday afternoon afterwards with some friends.


The Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2 DVD came last week. Can you believe I haven’t gotten yet? I heard that they are going to eventually make a long DVD that has both parts combined. I’m waiting for that. Somebody told me that they have a free copy of the part 2 DVD in the mean time, so I’m going to take them up on that.


On Netflix, I recently watched all of the “Secret Life of an American Teenager” episodes. Some sources say that there are more episodes to come, but there is no confirmation of this. I liked the series overall.


Other series that I have watched on there are “Kyle XY” and “Roswell”. I loved those. I wish that they had kept going with them.


Thanksgiving is next week. Got any plans? I just plan to work.



Well, that’s all I feel like writing for now. Have a good week!

Showing off some awesome videos today:




The first two are from Glee:








Some Classical for ya:













I really miss playing the marimba:







Enjoy!




Also, here is something HOT: